


They don’t fall in love for that

by Cartonsofcartoons



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:30:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9518798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartonsofcartoons/pseuds/Cartonsofcartoons
Summary: In which there is a lawyer, another lawyer, Viktor, Yuuri and a prenup.





	

 

See, the thing is Viktor is actually kind of loaded. _Really_ loaded. He has sponsorships all over the world, is in advertisements that rake in money like no one’s business and the huge bonuses for all his gold medal wins especially the ones in the Olympics make him one very rich little cookie.

 

A rich little cookie whose lawyers keep insisting on a prenuptial agreement and whose fiancé is sweet enough to take it seriously.

 

So, with a sigh Viktor sits down to decide terms for the prenup.

 

“So we keep all the bank accounts and what not separate and in case of a divorce any joint property or anything we’ve bought together gets auctioned off and divided into half.” Yuuri summarises. He’s better with all that legalese stuff, Viktor may sit in on negotiations often but the complicated wording of things makes his head hurt.  “Anything else you want to add?” His little raven-haired fiancé asks and Viktor blinks.

 

“Why would I want to make this longer? Every minute I spend here I’m losing my financial assets to these guys,” He lobs a thumb at the lawyers who ignore him with a sigh, used to his antics.

 

Yuuri blushes, “People add things sometimes, even little stuff about how much time they’re supposed to spend together and...” He breaks off, clearing his throat in a way that gets Viktor very interested, “Just weird things.”

 

“Oh?” Viktor leans forward, curious, “You seem to know a lot about prenups.”

 

Yuuri flushes brick red and even the lawyers look interested, “Ah just...things back in Detroit, you know. Some people I knew who...had certain tastes in things and wanted to make sure they wouldn’t be ...shamed for it.”

 

Viktor knows that face. The blushing, licking lips nervously, pausing in between words, thinking carefully for the most family friendly  version of the story.

 

“They were into kinky stuff and didn’t want to get their reps ruined in case of a divorce gone bad and public.” Viktor guesses and form the looks of the incandescent blush on Yuuri’s face he’s right.

 

And then the thought really registers, “Yuuri,” He purrs and the lawyers look desperately like they want to flee the room, “Are you asking me to specify our sexy times for the lawyers? Because you know I can’t do that. We’d have to add things in all the time and some of the things we do might be _illegal_ ~” He sings.

 

Viktor delights in the reactions he got as everyone spluttered. How he ever surprised anyone before he met his precious Yuuri, he doesn’t even know.

 

“So we’re done then?” Yuuri asks the lawyers, still pink. Viktor’s eyes wander down his face, eyes following the probable path of magenta down the rest of Yuuri and waggles his eyebrows. He knows that Yuuri blushes with his whole body.

 

“Not quite.” Lawyer 1 says, nervously picking at his glasses. “We still have to talk about custody.”

 

Yuuri frowns, “We don’t have children.”

 

“Ah, not children,” He shares a look with Lawyer 2 who looks as if he is reminding Lawyer 1 that he lost  the bet and has to face the consequences. Lawyer 1 sighs, “Makkachin.”

 

And tension descends, not the good sexual kind that he and Yuuri always have too. But Viktor now understands why couples that discuss prenups don’t always make it to marriage.

 

“Makkachin is mine.”

 

“No, he’s mine.” Yuuri counters and there is that determination that Viktor usually sees before he goes off onto the ice. Usually when he gets that look in his eyes Viktor cheers for him to win, but that is impossible now.

 

“Makkachin is my baby.”

 

“We’re going to be married, what is yours is mine, what is mine is yours, _darling_.” Yuuri smirks and Viktor narrows his eyes.

 

“Then I get custody of your parents.” Viktor counters and Yuuri’s nostrils flare.

 

(“That’s not exactly poss-“ Lawyer 1 says but Lawyer 2 shushes him quickly.)

 

“I get Yakov and Lilia.”

 

“Minako.”

 

“Yuri.”

 

“Phitchit.”

 

“Christophe.”

 

“Yuuko.”

 

“Mila.”

 

“Mari”

 

“Georgi.”

 

“The triplets.”

 

“Yuri’s grandpa.”

 

Viktor still has more people to go through. There’s Celestino, Takeshi, Guang Hong etc. Which reminds him, “...You have too many other people you love for someone who tells me to only look at you,” Viktor cannot help but sulk.

 

It is two hours later and they still aren’t ready to sign, anything that takes Makkachin away from him is not acceptable and Yuuri is unwilling to compromise. At one point Lawyer 2 gets pissed off and yells that it ‘Doesn’t matter, it’s not like the stupid dog is going to live longer than the marriage anyway’ and has to be thrown out (but not without two black eyes from two irate skaters) and they are still sitting there glaring at one another.

 

“I’m going to go get some water.” Lawyer 1 finally says and the two of them are suddenly alone and glaring at each other.

 

“This is the worst prenup ever, you’re telling me that if I lose my Yuuri I lose my baby too.”

 

Yuuri snorts. “If I’m going to lose my husband you better believe I’ll need Makkachin to help me through it.”

 

“There’s only one solution.” Viktor says gravely.

 

“What?”

 

“We can never get divorced. It’s the only answer.” He nods in absolute certainty. It was the solution to all their problems really and Viktor is certain that Yuuri must see it as well.

 

Yuuri’s eyes glint happily and he jumps across the table, grabbing Viktor by his collar and pulling him down to the floor, “Stupid man.”

 

(Viktor’s pretty sure the glass panes of the office would have fogged up like in Titanic if it weren’t for the climate control air conditioner.)

 

(More importantly, he gets to keep Makkachin and Yuuri forever now)

 

(It’s in their new prenup)

 

(The lawyers keep saying they can’t do that)

 

(Fuck them, Viktor and Yuuri were born to make history)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ...It has been two weeks since I first discovered YOI and I have marathoned it thrice already. I have a bajillion essays to write, what am I doing with my life?!


End file.
